wrigley field is MILF paradise
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
