I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
