I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
