Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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