He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
