i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
