do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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