The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
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I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
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It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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