I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
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Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
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If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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