My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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