And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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