I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize