there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
