can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
