The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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