my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
