You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
