I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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