haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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