my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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