The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
