I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Green mimosas i think yes
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
