i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
