Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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