yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
