Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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