I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
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I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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