Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Are we still banned from the library?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
