My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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