We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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