forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
