I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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