u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize