Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Dicks are not precious.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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