how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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