im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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