how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
