After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I could fuck to npr.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
