I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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