Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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