U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
