worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Farmville is her only friend.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
