It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
