and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
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Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
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SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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