if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
