Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you win again, gameday.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize