thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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