My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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