You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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