please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
