found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
