Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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