All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You ruined the universe
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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