so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
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