I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
