K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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