super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
