Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
