next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
